Please let’s leave here. I answered and we walked out on Esi’s unconscious body.
We got to our new apartment and I couldn’t hide my joy.
Esi is off my shoulders now, Aba is next. I thought.
Days passed and my female colleagues started showing interest in me. I wished I could have a fling with them, but Aba was too difficult to play such games on.
One of my working colleagues called me one day after work when I was bathing, and Aba answered.
Hello, what do you want? Meshac and I are making love, and he can’t answer your call right now.
Aaaaahhh Meshac!!!! Mmmmmmm!!!! Oooouuuuuccchhh
hh!!! I could hear Aba faking love making to tease the caller.
I hurriedly came out from the bathroom.
What is happening Aba? What do you think you are doing? I angrily asked.
And what does it seem I’m doing? Meshac, I am not like Esi, and I won’t watch any stupid lady to hover around you. I am more than a terrorist, if you dare mess up with me, I will chew your body raw. She threatened.
Aba, this is pure illiteracy! So can’t I have female friends? I asked angrily.
Female friends? Meshac, am I a man? Can’t you make me your friend.
The anthem of cheating men, “she is my female friend”.
I have passed that stage long time ago. If you dare me, I will curse you with the gods of our land. She threatened.
One more thing Meshac, the word “illiteracy” to me, is a compliment rather than insult. I get head swollen anytime you call me that, so don’t think you are hurting me with it. She bragged angrily and walked out on me.
This is serious! Will I ever find a way of dumping this village expert? I soliloquised.
The next day when I went to work, I was confronted by my colleague.
Mesh, yesterday I called, but you were busily making love to your wife. She teasingly said.
I’m sorry Beauty, it wasn’t so. She only faked it. I was rather in the bathroom. I responded.
I can’t believe this. Why would she do that? Beauty exclaimed in disappointment.
Hmmm, it is a long story, but all I can say is to forgive me. I responded.
Mesh, pardon my questions, but which university did your wife complete? Beauty inquired.
She didn’t even complete Amangoase LA primary school. Beauty, she is a typical illiterate.
The type of illiterate who has never watched a television before. Those ones are the ones who pour acid on their men, when they try to break up with them.
This is d–n serious! Meshac, then your life is at stake. Please deal with her carefully. I won’t call you again till you are done with her. Beauty responded in fear.
Beauty please don’t say that. We can still be friends while I deal with her. I pleaded.
No Mesh, it is risky. I can’t be your friend. She responded and walked out on me.
What a chaos! What should I do now? I thought unhappily.
Days later, I received a call from Frimpong.
Hey Mesh, the time is finally here, and I am coming home next week. He happily announced.
Wow! I can’t wait. Come and let’s wine some alcohol down our throats. I responded happily too.
Alcohol? Meshac, don’t tell me you have backslid. He questioned.
If “Backsliding” is a name, then I boldly claim it as my surname.
Frimpong, there is nothing good in the church. Pastors are marrying prostitutes, whereas deacons are f—–g kids. I am sick and tired of their brouhaha. I responded.
This topic is fascinating Mesh, so how is your brother, Pastor Otu taking this your new life? He asked.
It’s a long story bro. We will talk more when you come. I responded.
Alright then, see you next week. He responded.
Wait a minute Meshac, have you dumped that illiterate? I am coming with my fiance who is a black American. She cannot speak the local dialect, so I don’t want your fiancee to embarrass me. He quickly added.
Frimpong, Esi is off my shoulders, but unfortunately, I have the world’s most difficult witch on my neck right now.
You are the only person who can help me with ideas on what to do, so I am patiently waiting for you. I responded unhappily.
That is no problem at all bro, consider your problems solved in a week’s time. He responded and hanged up.
To be continued…