Acme dialled TY’s number and she picked after two missed call, Acme then put in the CD to play his favorite Brandy’s song that will be on replay till he finishes the call, he even remixed the song int his own version, always singing it for his so called love. The remix went like this
‘I am nothing,
without you TY nothing,
Yiu drive me crazy nothing ‘
Just ashe was about playing the song, I snapped at him
Me: guy no play that your song take disturb us today ooo, abi na wetin sef, must you kill yourself untop woman, everynight u go end up crying after every call, shey na by force? You wey be big boy, wey girls the queue up to have one babe come dey use you form hard to get, if you use ten years prepare for madness, how many year will your madness take then?
The whole room went into hysteria, we were all laughing sporadically, Acme couldn’t even speak, the call he was on was reading and fortunately or unfortunately, TY heard all I said.
Acme continued with his call and after a minute he called me to have his phone that Ty wanted to talk to me.
TY said she would like to talk to me privately, so I signaled to the guys to keep shut while I opened the door andb@ngedit to signify me leaving the room, so I put the phone on speaker
Me: Ty am all free and alone now
TY: please sir, am very sorry to disturb you
Me: you are not disturbing, we are all awake already, that what happens anytime he wants to call you, he will have to wake us up with that brandy he’s always playing
Ty: *smiled*, sir, I overheard all you said earlier and I would like to let you know that it is not that am playing hard to get, am just not sure of what am feeling and am having this doubt about him. I don’t know if he told you that he is a friend to my brother
Me: yes he did, I have met your brother Lekan
TY: so considering that I have my doubt, cause I know my brother and how he treats girls
Me: so you are kind of judging him with your brother’s attitude
Ty: something like that
Me: well you do have a point, cause for him and your brother to be friends, they must have somethings in common, and like the saying goes, show me your friend and I will tell you who you are
TY: thanks for understanding
Me: you are welcome, but that they are friends doesn’t mean they will have the same character, even twins born of the same mother with the same cord do have different character, not to talk of friends. And the Acme that I know, is madly in love with you, he is so in love that its becoming annoying. And the fact that is your brothers friend should even prove to you that his intentions are real, cause he is a friend of the family already and he won’t want to shitt for church.
Ty: hmmmmm, all right sir, thank you very much, but please don’t tell him all we discuss ooo
Me: *yimu* your secret is save with me dear
TY: I will come and see him tommorow, I will sure bring something along for you
Me: no problem dear, but errrmmm, me I like food ooo, is it food you are bringing
TY: don’t worry sir, what am bringing is a suprise
Me: suprise ke? I love surprises ooo, maybe na your frien you wan bring give me sef, eeehhhn dat one sef good
TY: till tommorow sir
Me: aiit, let me give the phone back to Acme, give me like one minute to enter the house cause am in the toilet now.
Ty: ok sir, tell him to call me back when you get in
Me: ok, goodbye
I cut the call and the rest of the guys shouted and were hailing me, telling me that have just nailed the girl, Acme was smilling sheepishly, I just looked at him and said, mumu like you, you see your life, you go dey form player, small girl you no fit scope, if not for me ehnnnn na 12 years you go need to scope her, monkey. By he way how you take scope KB and Bisola sef, I sure say na dem bring themselves come dash you, mtcheeewww
Kzee: tee e don do na, we all know say the guy mumu, but you no need to dey flog am for hin face na
TJ: you guys should take it easy on Acme na, we all need help once in a while, and when a player finds love, na so e dey be ooo, abi una no dey watch american film ni
We all got back early from school to meet Acme with a very young pretty lady, she was fair, tall, slim with an average size b0s0m and a moderate butt0ckz to match, her name was TY, history will call her Acme’s nemesis. Before hand Acme had told us about a girl that has capitivated him and captured his heart, we all joke that he had no heart to be captured. Truly, Acme was in love with Ty but as funny as life is, TY was not that into him, Acme calls Ty regularly during extra cool hours, but he usually end the call with a sad face, he will place his head close to the speaker of his home thearter listing to Brandy’s I am nothing while making the call.
We will hear more of Ty story later but for now, when TY left, Acme wasn’t in a good mood, I was being moody myself due to what I saw in school to so I had no time to console anyone.
Abbey and Tj mocked Acme about his unachieveable love and after a while he cheered up and said
Acme: oya make we enter point
Me: you guys should go, I don’t think I will be going
Acme: wetin happen na, you wey dem wan give babe
Me: bros am not just in the mood tonight
TJ: guy where your mood go now? You no dey mood for this, u no dey mood for that,
talk true abi u dey fear to follow the kogi
babe yarn ni?
Me: fear ke, she be Dangote pikin?
Kc: oya sha let’s go, we no fit leave you alone for house We got to point with flo and Jb already seated
Rasak: tee, lest I forget, I don follow the
babe talk, she don gree to see you, she say
make I come call her when u come.
That brought another round of screaming
and hailing for rasak
Me: thanks jare, but I don’t think I will
meet her today, am not just in the mood
Acme: olobe ni guy yi sha ( this guy na dulling ooo)
Kc: ashe o ti e le, enu lasan lo ni ( you only brag, u have no action)
While they were still yabbing, a girl walked
out from the building behind us
Rasak: tee na she be that ooo
We all turn around to see my upcoming chick
Acme: where she dey na
Rasak: na she be that for the gutter side
Me: this one??
We all couldn’t help but laugh
Me: but Rasak this is not funny ooo, wetin I do u now?
Kc: shey na because this guy slim na hin
make u bring Fernando Flatscreeno for am
At the sound of ‘Fernando Flatscreeno’ we
all couldn’t control our laughter.
To be candid the babe was a real flat screen, no
offshore no onshore, nothing to dicotomise, how can I be a slim guy and yet be yanshing a skinny girl, its a case of terminator fighting ironman, if she was just skinny it would have been better but it seems god was angry when he was creating her of the mud used on her were expired mud cause d–n!!! She was ugly
Flo: but Rasak u wicked ooo, I was thinking it was her sister u wan dash this guy before
Acme: omo, when two bones meet, one go bend for the other ni ooo
TJ: I sure say na tee go bend for this one
oooo, cos I hear say kogi babes na die
Me: am not even interested not to even talk of bending
Acme: but tee, it won’t be fair if you just
abandon the babe like that ooo, what do u
want Rasak to tell her
Me: so it was fair when Razak deem it fit to dash me a dehumanized lady, Anything he like make he tell her jare,
Rasak: but tee, that’s too much now, dehumanized ke? Ok, tee no vex, but please just
follow her talk today and find wey to just
discharge her, she don dey wahala me
since morning abeg
Me: how she no go wahala u, when she had been S£x starved, who go dey follow dis kain babe, she even come hear say na university guy ow she no go wan die there
Razak: abeg na please
Me: ok sha, but u owe me one ooo
Rasak: no wahala
Kc: oko Fernando Flatscreeno
Me: na u sabi.
All this while the babe was still standing
close to the gutter until Rasak walked over
to her and signal me to join him.
We got talking and to make the matter worse, she was stark illiterate. *double wahala for dead body* she lead me into her compound and we sat at a secluded place at the back of the compound.
She told me she is a hairdresser and she’s planning to have her own shop, she also said rasak has told her all about me and that she had accepted only for her to confirm from me.
*chai, I don die ooo*
FF: u dint even ask for my name
Me: *abeg your name is inconsequential*
oh sorry rasak already told me, but I would
be calling u beauty cos u are very beautiful
*yimu* *the truth is I don’t even know her
FF: *blushing* u are fine also
Me: thanks. *even me know say I no fine but for your side I be Mr N——-d*
Next thing, FF just moved close to me and
rest her head on my shoulder
Me: *which kain wahala be this na* one mind was telling me to push her head away, but the ‘lords mind’ in me told me to take this one chance, just do and forget u ever met.
But how I go manage to do this I wondered, will I close my eyes and just insert my JT without looking at the face, or would I cover the face with a pillow and just bang away? I was still thinking on what to do when I noticed that my hand had found its way to her back massaging it.
Me: *this hand go put me for trouble one
Ff responded swiftly and brought her lips close to mine, at first I felt irritated and was moving my heads backwards, all of a sudden her lips met mine, I dint respond both slowly she worked her way to my tongue. D–n she was a good kisser and she had this wonderful scent and her breath was d–n fresh. She brushed my upperlips, then sU-Cked it a little before going to the lower lips, she did all this without her tongue or mine meeting, seriously she was good, she took turns on both lips and the she did the tongue.
At this junction all the resistance left in me was broken and we where kissing like no man’s business, I got in the groove and moved my hand down to her b0s0m, then was I brought back to my senses cos the place was has dry has a firewood. She noticed my loss of momentum and right there she removed her top totally, I was shocked and I tried to look around but the place was has silent has a grave yard. With her top off, I got to see that she wasn’t that flat, at least there was something to play with, it was small but firm, straight away I was squeezing the african star apple in front of me and her kissing got more tensed, she then tried to move my mouth to those agbalumos, but I restrained and
told her we need to stop,*who go sU-Ck cancer, even if I go get cancer make I get am fro better bobby, at least it would be pleasurable cancer* cause it was getting late and someone could just walk into us here.
She got dressed and we both walked out of
the premises. To my surprise there was no one left at point, I checked my phone and the time was past ten. FF escorted me and after walking about 30meters I told her to go back, but she insisted she won’t leave witout a kiss.
It was just a kiss oooo, but next thing I know was that we where under the shade of a closed shop, and my fingers had found their ways underneath herp@nt, I was finger fukcing her and she was m0an!ng in my mouth, one finger, two, three and her m0ans where increasing. My JT had become has hard has a rock and was trying to fight his freedom from apartheid like mandela did, but just like Mandela, my JT was to sufferlong today.
Twominutes later I dis engaged from her and
my fingers where filled with her fluid, then
she took my fingers and straight into her
mouth they went and licked all the fluid on
them dry. Eewwww, I felt like throwing up.
to make matter worse she tried kissing me
with with a fluid filled mouth, I escaped
her, then she told me she need me inside her, I told her that’s not a problem, but I don’t av a CD availabe here so I can’t help her today, she said we can use a nylon in place of the CD now, I told her she should not rush in licking a hot soup, that tomorrow will be a great day, and the anticipation will even make it more interesting, so I told her goodnyt. She said she will visit me the next day.
Got home it was past eleven, everyone
was asleep or so I taught. So I silently
sq££zed myself to the edge of the bed, then
KC: shey u think say we don sleep ni
Acme: guy na all ur body dey smell toto,
abeg make someone on the light
Tj switched on the light and to my surprise
they were all awake.
Tj: Mr am not in the mood, so this is how u
are not in the mood abi
Acme: shebi u say u no like the babe
KC: Fernando flatscreeno
They were all laughing and mocking while I
just ignored them
Acme: no think say u go sleep with all this
smell wey u carry come this room ooo
Me: na una sabi….. I just took my sponge
and bucket and moved out.
I could hear their screams and laughter
while I was bathing. So I decide to just give
them a tip of the story so that they could
let me have my rest.
Acme: henhen, now the smell is different
Me: na u know ooo, but the girl no too bad
like that sha ooo
This brought out the biggest and longest
laughter from the house while I aslo joined
in the laughter
Me: that girl can kiss ehnnn
Acme: she go sabi sU-Ck also
Me: I never confirm that one ooo
Tj: but u confirm the pitching tent sha
Me: hmmm alfa TJ, well, I just used my fingers to map out where the tent will finally stay ni. But we will be leaving in the tent by tomorrow evening, all things being equal.
Acme: all this happened when you are not in the mood, I can’t imagine what will happen when your mood finally come ooo
We all laughed and gisted till 12:45 and
the it was time for extra cool cos no one
felt like sleeping anymore.
Acme dialled TY’s number and .
Abbey: make Acme just make sure say he provide food for the house tommorow for the victory we gave him tonight
Acme: make she gree first, una go enjoy me, shebi na me una dey yarb, no problem.
Me; shey you dey threating us again ni, you know say I fit spoil the whole package right away
Acme: oya oga no vex, oko Fernando Flatscreeno omo Kogi that is black like charcoal
Everyone just started laughing
Me: na me you dey yarb again abi
Acme: no be yarb now, I dey hail you ni now
Me: abeg go call your nemesis, I know say you go sq££ze face after the call finish
Acme: na you kno ooo
Me: Ode oshi
Kzee: tee stop am, the guy na old man ooo, forget say one small girl dey dribble am
We all laughed and Acme dialled his call again.